Ghosts

With our 10 year high school reunion approaching this spring, so did the stark realization of just how much 4 years with those kids fucked with my self esteem and sense of self. I also realized that had Facebook been around then, no doubt I would have succeeded in committing suicide.

I was pumping gas into my work truck the other day when 2 high school girls started to point and mock my appearance. I gave them a look that would have peeled the paint off of a wall and tried to ignore them and shrug it off. But in my head, all I could hear and see were those bullies from my past. Ghosts in my head, yelling at me the things I will never be. "You're weird, fat, a slut, you're not pretty, you're a whore, no one likes you, nerd, you look like a dyke, you suck, just go kill yourself and do everyone a favor".

I am 27 years old and I still hear those awful things in my head, and what's worse, is that I still believe them.